I just came to realize
how much I hate living in America. What could possibly be strong enough
to cause me to reach this kind of epiphany? Is it the fact that we
literally owe China billions of dollars that we'll be paying back until
the sun explodes? No. Is it the horrible state of this economy and how
unlikely it will be for me to get a job and pay off the immense college
debt once I graduate? No, not that either. Is it how all the politicians
are too busy holding a national pissing contest between the two major
parties to do anything about it? Is it these occupy wall street
protesters who, in my opinion, need another healthy dose of police
brutality? None of the above.
It's the fact that I know more about Kim Kardashian's marriage than I do about any of the above issues. How is it that I don't read magazines or newspapers, don't listen to the radio, barely watch any TV, only open an internet browser once or twice a day, and avoid celebrity gossip like rape, yet I still know that her wedding cost 10 million dollars and her marriage only lasted 72 days. It's because the news and media outlets feel the need to inundate us with this useless information. It's not like they're doing it just to bother me either (although it seems that way sometimes). They do it because people in America actually care about this garbage.
You might be wondering, "Yea, all that's annoying, but there's got to be other reasons to move to a different country." Well, you're correct. There is. Music.
Here's a list of well known American music acts. This can also double as a suicide note or a Christmas list to give to your buddy who "knows people".
Katy Perry
Lady Gaga
Taylor Swift
Maroon 5
Relient K
Miley Cirus
Death Cab for Cutie
My Chemical Romance
Any country music
Any rap music
U2 (I know U2 is Irish, but I really hate them and thought they deserved to be on the list anyway.)
Nickleback (Possibly Canadian? I don't know. I hate them too.)
Etc.
Now, here's a list of Norwegian bands:
Einherjer
Dimmu Borgir
Emperor
Immortal
Kampfar
Asmegin
Mayhem
Burzum
You should notice 2 things. First of all, American music is terrible. I don't know how we as a society have managed to tolerate music that bad for so long. Every time I hear Katy Perry I get just a little sick to my stomach. Yea, her music is bad enough to trigger a physiological response. There's something to be said about that.
Second of all, all the bands in the Norwegian list are heavy metal bands. That's not to say that every band in Norway is a metal band, but it does illustrate that metal is way more mainstream in Norway than it is in America. I'm sick of living in a country where when asked what my favorite music is I have to sheepishly reply "uhh....rock..." or risk being completely isolated from people (especially the opposite sex).
Why is metal treated like it's the worst kind of music for children to listen to? If anything, it's the best music for them to listen to. It will tell them from an early age how cold and unforgiving the world is and not to expect anything from it. It's a lesson they need to learn early on so they don't feel entitled to a new car, hugs, affection, food, etc.
The alternative to metal is the mainstream music, filled with sexual undertones, suggestive themes, and other things that will train children to be as sexually promiscuous as possible. How is this any better than death metal? These songs will lead to pregnancies in people not nearly mature, responsible, or smart enough to have children; ultimately resulting in a whole bunch of inductions on November 11, 2011.
Do you people not know how ridiculous this is? The rest of the world (e.g. Norway) watches us in complete disbelief while we undergo medical procedures putting both the mother and child at risk. And for what? So the child can be born on a date that has 6 consecutive ones in a row. Idiots.
My last point, before I go back to loathing my biology professor for giving an assignment over Thanksgiving break, is that America is boring. I mean, just look at this.
Whoever wrote the line "Amber waves of grain" in the song America the Beautiful had obviously never seen an amber wave of grain. Otherwise, he wouldn't have found it noteworthy enough to include in the song. Either that, or America is so boring that he had to include it for lack of any other material.
What does Norway have to offer? It has the ancestral burial grounds of the vikings, vast fjords, aurora borealis, the midnight sunrise, and trolltunga (roughly translated, troll's tongue) pictured here:
Norway: 1
America: 0
Well, that's about it. If you want to follow me to Norway, I don't blame you.
It's the fact that I know more about Kim Kardashian's marriage than I do about any of the above issues. How is it that I don't read magazines or newspapers, don't listen to the radio, barely watch any TV, only open an internet browser once or twice a day, and avoid celebrity gossip like rape, yet I still know that her wedding cost 10 million dollars and her marriage only lasted 72 days. It's because the news and media outlets feel the need to inundate us with this useless information. It's not like they're doing it just to bother me either (although it seems that way sometimes). They do it because people in America actually care about this garbage.
You might be wondering, "Yea, all that's annoying, but there's got to be other reasons to move to a different country." Well, you're correct. There is. Music.
Here's a list of well known American music acts. This can also double as a suicide note or a Christmas list to give to your buddy who "knows people".
Katy Perry
Lady Gaga
Taylor Swift
Maroon 5
Relient K
Miley Cirus
Death Cab for Cutie
My Chemical Romance
Any country music
Any rap music
U2 (I know U2 is Irish, but I really hate them and thought they deserved to be on the list anyway.)
Nickleback (Possibly Canadian? I don't know. I hate them too.)
Etc.
Now, here's a list of Norwegian bands:
Einherjer
Dimmu Borgir
Emperor
Immortal
Kampfar
Asmegin
Mayhem
Burzum
You should notice 2 things. First of all, American music is terrible. I don't know how we as a society have managed to tolerate music that bad for so long. Every time I hear Katy Perry I get just a little sick to my stomach. Yea, her music is bad enough to trigger a physiological response. There's something to be said about that.
Second of all, all the bands in the Norwegian list are heavy metal bands. That's not to say that every band in Norway is a metal band, but it does illustrate that metal is way more mainstream in Norway than it is in America. I'm sick of living in a country where when asked what my favorite music is I have to sheepishly reply "uhh....rock..." or risk being completely isolated from people (especially the opposite sex).
Why is metal treated like it's the worst kind of music for children to listen to? If anything, it's the best music for them to listen to. It will tell them from an early age how cold and unforgiving the world is and not to expect anything from it. It's a lesson they need to learn early on so they don't feel entitled to a new car, hugs, affection, food, etc.
The alternative to metal is the mainstream music, filled with sexual undertones, suggestive themes, and other things that will train children to be as sexually promiscuous as possible. How is this any better than death metal? These songs will lead to pregnancies in people not nearly mature, responsible, or smart enough to have children; ultimately resulting in a whole bunch of inductions on November 11, 2011.
Do you people not know how ridiculous this is? The rest of the world (e.g. Norway) watches us in complete disbelief while we undergo medical procedures putting both the mother and child at risk. And for what? So the child can be born on a date that has 6 consecutive ones in a row. Idiots.
My last point, before I go back to loathing my biology professor for giving an assignment over Thanksgiving break, is that America is boring. I mean, just look at this.
Whoever wrote the line "Amber waves of grain" in the song America the Beautiful had obviously never seen an amber wave of grain. Otherwise, he wouldn't have found it noteworthy enough to include in the song. Either that, or America is so boring that he had to include it for lack of any other material.
What does Norway have to offer? It has the ancestral burial grounds of the vikings, vast fjords, aurora borealis, the midnight sunrise, and trolltunga (roughly translated, troll's tongue) pictured here:
Norway: 1
America: 0
Well, that's about it. If you want to follow me to Norway, I don't blame you.
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