Hi, my name is Josh and I
am a gangster. All of my friends are gangsters too. That is why we all
dress the same and discuss the finer points of the latest lil wayne
album. People often ask me how one becomes a gangster and I tell them
it's something that can only be imbued into you from a hard life on the
streets. My brother wants to be a gangster too but I don't think he has
what it takes.
My friends and I often do dangerous things together in the streets. One of our favorite pastimes is to loiter at the basketball court behind the elementary school even though there's a sign there that tells us not to. Once, we even drove to a town large enough to have its own Wal-Mart without any adult supervision; but everybody was uncomfortable so we don't do that anymore.
Gangsters such as myself can be easily identified by their wardrobe. Most of us wear a tapout shirt despite the fact that we don't do UFC fighting, baggy shorts in the dead of winter, and a flat billed hat with a sticker on it. I once made the mistake of wearing a regular baseball cap and the other gangsters made fun of me for it. That night, I stacked up all of my textbooks onto the bill of my hat and left it like that overnight. That was the most use I've ever gotten out of my textbooks.
I also put a sticker on my hat which my little sister received from the dentist's office. It had a picture of Buzz Lightyear but astronauts are cool so it all works out.
The following morning, I went into my father's garage and measured the bill of my hat with his level. The bubble was in the middle, so my bill was flat. At school, when everybody noticed how flat my bill was I told them, "Yes, it is. I went into my father's garage and measured the bill with his level. The bubble was in the middle, so my bill was flat."
One of my teachers told me that I am too socioeconomically advantaged to be a gangster but she was obviously mistaken because I don't even know what socioeconomic means.
When my friends and I aren't loitering at the basketball court behind the elementary school despite the fact that there's a sign there that tells us not to, we like to make rap videos. Here's one we made the other day:
I know that my little brother's toys in the background aren't gangster but it's the best we could do at the time. We had originally intended to make the video in my living room but my mother kicked us out because she was entertaining guests at her weekly book club meeting.
Often, in pictures, I will hold out a wad of cash to the camera. People sometimes get angry and accuse me of showing off and being vain. In reality, I strike this pose because I have a lot to be thankful for and I want to show everybody how thankful I am. I also get nervous in pictures. My body will react to this nervousness by causing the tissue in my lips to become inflamed. All of my friends try to imitate this odd body reaction in subsequent pictures and I think it's to make me feel less self-conscious about it. Here is a photo to illustrate what I am talking about.
There I am with sixty sols or about twenty-five American dollars.
My friends and I often do dangerous things together in the streets. One of our favorite pastimes is to loiter at the basketball court behind the elementary school even though there's a sign there that tells us not to. Once, we even drove to a town large enough to have its own Wal-Mart without any adult supervision; but everybody was uncomfortable so we don't do that anymore.
Gangsters such as myself can be easily identified by their wardrobe. Most of us wear a tapout shirt despite the fact that we don't do UFC fighting, baggy shorts in the dead of winter, and a flat billed hat with a sticker on it. I once made the mistake of wearing a regular baseball cap and the other gangsters made fun of me for it. That night, I stacked up all of my textbooks onto the bill of my hat and left it like that overnight. That was the most use I've ever gotten out of my textbooks.
I also put a sticker on my hat which my little sister received from the dentist's office. It had a picture of Buzz Lightyear but astronauts are cool so it all works out.
The following morning, I went into my father's garage and measured the bill of my hat with his level. The bubble was in the middle, so my bill was flat. At school, when everybody noticed how flat my bill was I told them, "Yes, it is. I went into my father's garage and measured the bill with his level. The bubble was in the middle, so my bill was flat."
One of my teachers told me that I am too socioeconomically advantaged to be a gangster but she was obviously mistaken because I don't even know what socioeconomic means.
When my friends and I aren't loitering at the basketball court behind the elementary school despite the fact that there's a sign there that tells us not to, we like to make rap videos. Here's one we made the other day:
I know that my little brother's toys in the background aren't gangster but it's the best we could do at the time. We had originally intended to make the video in my living room but my mother kicked us out because she was entertaining guests at her weekly book club meeting.
Often, in pictures, I will hold out a wad of cash to the camera. People sometimes get angry and accuse me of showing off and being vain. In reality, I strike this pose because I have a lot to be thankful for and I want to show everybody how thankful I am. I also get nervous in pictures. My body will react to this nervousness by causing the tissue in my lips to become inflamed. All of my friends try to imitate this odd body reaction in subsequent pictures and I think it's to make me feel less self-conscious about it. Here is a photo to illustrate what I am talking about.
There I am with sixty sols or about twenty-five American dollars.
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