Residents of the city of
Pleasant Hill are all breathing a collective sigh of relief tonight
following an incident where a menace to society was successfully pulled
over and issued a speeding ticket. The perpetrator received the justice
he deserved at approximately 10:00 P.M. as he was driving his friend to
her house unreasonably fast. The sheriff clocked him driving 51 miles
per hour in a 35 mile per hour zone, a speed described by locals as
"appalling".
"These roads are only meant to handle vehicles traveling at speeds of 35 miles per hour." explained the sheriff as he stared off into the distance, shuddering at the possible consequences of somebody traveling 16 miles per hour over the speed limit on a road that's rarely used, "At speeds like that, he could have put a dent in a tree, totaled a mailbox, or even killed a squirrel. Thank God I caught him when I did."
"He should be castrated, or at the very least permanently lose his license." explained a local meth dealer who witnessed the events unfold, "What has this world come to when somebody just decides to push the gas pedal slightly lower than you're supposed to? It's sickening."
"How am I supposed to raise a family out here?" he added.
Josh Hanes, the perpetrator, offers some insight into his despicable actions:
"While my actions are inexcusable, it was really late and I just wanted to hurry up and get home. I had to take a leak, I wasn't aware that the speed limit was so low, and it didn't seem so dangerous to travel faster than the speed limit because I was the only other one on the road."
"Besides the sheriff" he added. "I suppose it's good that he pulled me over. I could have done some serious damage to myself and others as I am unable to handle a vehicle at speeds exceeding 35 miles per hour. Also, the sheriff was nice enough to lower the ticket from 51 MPH to 49 MPH. I'm glad that he was kind enough to show me that kind of mercy."
While it was admirable that the sheriff was kind enough to lower the size of the ticket so drastically, many people are arguing that it wasn't the right thing to do. They claim that Josh will believe he can get away with heinous traffic violations in the future. He may be speeding now, but people believe that he will commit the crimes of "changing lanes without signaling", "improper parking" , and "failure to wave after other vehicle yields right of way".
"These roads are only meant to handle vehicles traveling at speeds of 35 miles per hour." explained the sheriff as he stared off into the distance, shuddering at the possible consequences of somebody traveling 16 miles per hour over the speed limit on a road that's rarely used, "At speeds like that, he could have put a dent in a tree, totaled a mailbox, or even killed a squirrel. Thank God I caught him when I did."
"He should be castrated, or at the very least permanently lose his license." explained a local meth dealer who witnessed the events unfold, "What has this world come to when somebody just decides to push the gas pedal slightly lower than you're supposed to? It's sickening."
"How am I supposed to raise a family out here?" he added.
Josh Hanes, the perpetrator, offers some insight into his despicable actions:
"While my actions are inexcusable, it was really late and I just wanted to hurry up and get home. I had to take a leak, I wasn't aware that the speed limit was so low, and it didn't seem so dangerous to travel faster than the speed limit because I was the only other one on the road."
"Besides the sheriff" he added. "I suppose it's good that he pulled me over. I could have done some serious damage to myself and others as I am unable to handle a vehicle at speeds exceeding 35 miles per hour. Also, the sheriff was nice enough to lower the ticket from 51 MPH to 49 MPH. I'm glad that he was kind enough to show me that kind of mercy."
While it was admirable that the sheriff was kind enough to lower the size of the ticket so drastically, many people are arguing that it wasn't the right thing to do. They claim that Josh will believe he can get away with heinous traffic violations in the future. He may be speeding now, but people believe that he will commit the crimes of "changing lanes without signaling", "improper parking" , and "failure to wave after other vehicle yields right of way".
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