One of the worst things
about going into the medical field is the fact that you have to
constantly worry about beefing up your resume in order to gain
acceptance into a medical school. This forces one to either sell their
soul to different co-curricular activities in order to look involved and
well rounded, or live on the streets. If I had to live on the streets I
would probably grow a beard and claim that I was a veteran. While I
have never actually served in the military, I´ve played a lot of Call of
Duty; so I know what they've been through.
While I do have a plan in case it comes to that, I am not cut out for life on the streets. That is why I joined clubs like the Student Government Association. SGA is just as worthless as student council was back in high school, except it is on the collegiate level, which means there is more work involved. Not only do I have to waste over an hour a week in Senate, but I have to do assignments each week for the University Advancement Committee, led by Adrianne Burns.
Usually I do the bare minimum of the assignment that is required, send it off in an E-mail and forget about it until the meeting on Tuesday. Not this time, though. I decided to troll her a bit.
Adrianne:
"Hello Committee!
This is a friendly reminder of what I need from you all this week.
Everyone: Please review the athletic website- missouristatebears.com- and review the home page and one of the team pages (baseball, soccer, football, ect) and come up with 3 suggestions of what should be changed.
Also you can view other collegiate athletic websites created by the same company we have our contract through to get ideas of what the website could look like at: http://www.neulion.com/?clients but it is not required.
Also please come up with 3 traditions for MSU. They can be things we already do and need to promote more or things from other universities or things you just made up but think they sound like a great idea! I attached some of the research that was done at the top.
And last but not lease please continue to think of poll questions. I attached the questions we already have at the top.
If you all could email me this information by Sunday that would be awesome! If not please email me before the meeting on Tuesday. If you have any questions please let me know!
See you on Tuesday!
Adrianne N. Burns
Student Government Association
-University Advancement"
Me:
"Adrianne,
I have looked over the website and have the following suggestions on how we can improve it:
1. Change our host to godaddy.com . I know that this won't exactly improve the structure of the website, but godaddy.com has a sex appeal that our current host just can't match.
2. Don't actually attempt to give any information on the site...I think it would be better if we had links to all the teams' websites that we play against. Their websites are so much better and I think it would be an overall better experience for somebody to figure out the details of a game from our rivals' websites instead of our own impossible to navigate one.
3. Have a link on our site to my Xanga page. As you probably know, Xanga isn't as popular as it used to be. I used to have many subscribers that would read my site daily. All that's left now of my once great online empire is some lady who blogs exclusively about the exploits of her cat ,Sprinkles, and some guy who is bitter about everybody's pilgrimage to MySpace. He swears one day that he will make a new social networking site that's more popular than MySpace. Nobody has yet had the heart to tell him about Facebook.
I also have some ideas for possible traditions that I'm sure you will find exciting and viable.
1. We could throw things at that one fat tuba player...The origins of this tradition date back to my high school years. Our football team wasn't that great and would often time be behind by several touchdowns. Not wanting to waste the 2 dollars spent on attendance, the students found other means of entertainment. We singled out this one chubby tuba player in the band and threw random objects, such as hot dog wrappers and soda bottles at him when he wasn't looking. Eventually, this took a toll on his self-esteem and he told the principal. The school had an assembly on bullying the following day, where they didn't mention him by name in order to avoid potential embarrassment. Of course, we all knew what the real reason for the assembly was, so we tormented him until he transferred schools.
2. We could yell loudly at the referees when they make a call that's not in our favor...The origins of this tradition date back as far as sports do. For minor calls like being off-sides or something we could simply boo at them. For more game-changing calls, like pass interference, we could swear loudly and accuse the refs of having mental or physical disabilities.
3. We should release an actual bear into the stadium during half time...This is another idea that I got from high school. My high school's mascot is a rooster, so during half-time, we would release roosters onto the field to help increase school spirit. One day, though, it went horribly awry. None of the roosters released wanted to go back into their cages. The game had to be postponed for fifteen minutes while we attempted to capture all the roosters again. One of them even scratched the assistant vice-principal on the arm, leaving a gash that would eventually become infected. I don't anticipate we will have these safety issues with bears, however, because a bear's claw is probably more sanitary than that of a rooster.
I look forward to this Tuesday's meeting. I can't wait to present these ideas to the rest of the committee.
Love,
Josh"
Adrianne:
"Hello Josh,
Thanks for taking the time to write such a thought out response to this week's assignment. While it was humorous I think you missed the point of the assignment.
Please review the email I sent Tuesday night and revisit the athletics website and come up with suggestions on how we can focus on improving the site. Examples are condensing the button options and having less advertisements on the front page. Also when thinking of traditions please think of ideas that will not be hurtful, dangerous, or disrespectful. I am looking for ideas that have a more fun and encouraging spirit behind them.
I'm sure you will able to take these directions and come up with wonderful ideas. Please email me the new ideas by Sunday.
See you Tuesday,
Adrianne"
Me:
"Adrianne,
I'm sorry about the previous email. I'm not quite sure what came over me. It had been a rather boring day and I just finished reading a few articles on http://www.27bslash6.com/ , so I decided to write one myself. I will send you real ideas by Sunday.
Josh"
I know that the ending isn't as awesome as it could be. I was going to troll her farther and see how far I could take it, but then I realized that I actually have to see her on Tuesday.
While I do have a plan in case it comes to that, I am not cut out for life on the streets. That is why I joined clubs like the Student Government Association. SGA is just as worthless as student council was back in high school, except it is on the collegiate level, which means there is more work involved. Not only do I have to waste over an hour a week in Senate, but I have to do assignments each week for the University Advancement Committee, led by Adrianne Burns.
Usually I do the bare minimum of the assignment that is required, send it off in an E-mail and forget about it until the meeting on Tuesday. Not this time, though. I decided to troll her a bit.
Adrianne:
"Hello Committee!
This is a friendly reminder of what I need from you all this week.
Everyone: Please review the athletic website- missouristatebears.com- and review the home page and one of the team pages (baseball, soccer, football, ect) and come up with 3 suggestions of what should be changed.
Also you can view other collegiate athletic websites created by the same company we have our contract through to get ideas of what the website could look like at: http://www.neulion.com/?clients but it is not required.
Also please come up with 3 traditions for MSU. They can be things we already do and need to promote more or things from other universities or things you just made up but think they sound like a great idea! I attached some of the research that was done at the top.
And last but not lease please continue to think of poll questions. I attached the questions we already have at the top.
If you all could email me this information by Sunday that would be awesome! If not please email me before the meeting on Tuesday. If you have any questions please let me know!
See you on Tuesday!
Adrianne N. Burns
Student Government Association
-University Advancement"
Me:
"Adrianne,
I have looked over the website and have the following suggestions on how we can improve it:
1. Change our host to godaddy.com . I know that this won't exactly improve the structure of the website, but godaddy.com has a sex appeal that our current host just can't match.
2. Don't actually attempt to give any information on the site...I think it would be better if we had links to all the teams' websites that we play against. Their websites are so much better and I think it would be an overall better experience for somebody to figure out the details of a game from our rivals' websites instead of our own impossible to navigate one.
3. Have a link on our site to my Xanga page. As you probably know, Xanga isn't as popular as it used to be. I used to have many subscribers that would read my site daily. All that's left now of my once great online empire is some lady who blogs exclusively about the exploits of her cat ,Sprinkles, and some guy who is bitter about everybody's pilgrimage to MySpace. He swears one day that he will make a new social networking site that's more popular than MySpace. Nobody has yet had the heart to tell him about Facebook.
I also have some ideas for possible traditions that I'm sure you will find exciting and viable.
1. We could throw things at that one fat tuba player...The origins of this tradition date back to my high school years. Our football team wasn't that great and would often time be behind by several touchdowns. Not wanting to waste the 2 dollars spent on attendance, the students found other means of entertainment. We singled out this one chubby tuba player in the band and threw random objects, such as hot dog wrappers and soda bottles at him when he wasn't looking. Eventually, this took a toll on his self-esteem and he told the principal. The school had an assembly on bullying the following day, where they didn't mention him by name in order to avoid potential embarrassment. Of course, we all knew what the real reason for the assembly was, so we tormented him until he transferred schools.
2. We could yell loudly at the referees when they make a call that's not in our favor...The origins of this tradition date back as far as sports do. For minor calls like being off-sides or something we could simply boo at them. For more game-changing calls, like pass interference, we could swear loudly and accuse the refs of having mental or physical disabilities.
3. We should release an actual bear into the stadium during half time...This is another idea that I got from high school. My high school's mascot is a rooster, so during half-time, we would release roosters onto the field to help increase school spirit. One day, though, it went horribly awry. None of the roosters released wanted to go back into their cages. The game had to be postponed for fifteen minutes while we attempted to capture all the roosters again. One of them even scratched the assistant vice-principal on the arm, leaving a gash that would eventually become infected. I don't anticipate we will have these safety issues with bears, however, because a bear's claw is probably more sanitary than that of a rooster.
I look forward to this Tuesday's meeting. I can't wait to present these ideas to the rest of the committee.
Love,
Josh"
Adrianne:
"Hello Josh,
Thanks for taking the time to write such a thought out response to this week's assignment. While it was humorous I think you missed the point of the assignment.
Please review the email I sent Tuesday night and revisit the athletics website and come up with suggestions on how we can focus on improving the site. Examples are condensing the button options and having less advertisements on the front page. Also when thinking of traditions please think of ideas that will not be hurtful, dangerous, or disrespectful. I am looking for ideas that have a more fun and encouraging spirit behind them.
I'm sure you will able to take these directions and come up with wonderful ideas. Please email me the new ideas by Sunday.
See you Tuesday,
Adrianne"
Me:
"Adrianne,
I'm sorry about the previous email. I'm not quite sure what came over me. It had been a rather boring day and I just finished reading a few articles on http://www.27bslash6.com/ , so I decided to write one myself. I will send you real ideas by Sunday.
Josh"
I know that the ending isn't as awesome as it could be. I was going to troll her farther and see how far I could take it, but then I realized that I actually have to see her on Tuesday.
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