Consistently show up late to class.
Teachers and students alike love it when people show up late to class. Teachers sometimes lose track of what their talking about and appreciate the opportunity to collect their thoughts. Students love being distracted from a lecture that they're paying a ton of money for and also appreciate people wrestling past them for a seat while they're trying to take notes.
Walk really slowly on the sidewalks.
Everybody enjoys being held up while walking to class by two people walking very slowly side by side. It's a nice way of letting people know that they should take a moment to slow down and enjoy life. Also, people who listen to music on the way to class will enjoy the opportunity to hear more songs than they normally would.
If you have a bike, ignore the designated bike paths.
There's nothing quite like somebody on a bike getting inches away from running you down, but at the last moment deciding to turn away. Everybody enjoys that feeling of relief when they realize that the guy on the bike isn't actually going to hit them. That feeling makes life worth living sometimes.
Pack your stuff up five minutes before class ends.
Sometimes, it's just too easy to hear the professor speak. People who are actually trying to pay attention to the professor will enjoy the added challenge of listening to him over the sound of your backpack zipper. Also, it's not disrespectful of the professor's or other students' time at all. Everybody will applaud you.
Gun it when you're in a car and approaching a crosswalk.
Jeopardizing the lives of everybody using a crosswalk is totally worth it so you don't have to wait ten seconds for them to finish walking. Just put the pedal to the metal and if they don't stop walking, it's their fault if they get hit. Sometimes, the near death experience will get people to realize that they should turn their life around. The benefits outweigh the risks.
Smoke right outside of the entrances of buildings.
People love it when their choice of living a healthy life and abstaining from cigarettes is nullified by people who can't walk a few yards to a designated smoking area. They also enjoy the sight of people smoking, because those that smoke are extremely cool. If everybody smoked at a designated smoking area, I wouldn't be able to see these types of people and there would be virtually no chance of me getting emphysema. What a shame.
Write stuff on the bathroom stalls.
Graffiti on bathroom stalls is paramount to the public restroom experience. Without anything to read, using the bathroom would be extremely boring. Also, I wouldn't have a steady source of news that's relevant to me; such as "Joe has sex with goats." If nobody had written that, I wouldn't know that I should keep my goats away from Joe.
Take the elevator to the second floor.
Sometimes people who take the elevator to the seventh floor get lonely and we want somebody to talk to, even if for just a short time. Sometimes, people are too intimidated to take the elevator for such a short distance because they feel like they're being scowled at by everybody else. They couldn't be more mistaken. You're not being scowled at. People are just angry that you have to leave the elevator so soon.
If you're in a car, drive as close to the sidewalk as possible when there's standing water.
Let's face it. Not everybody in college has the best hygiene. When you spray water all over everybody on the sidewalk, you may be giving somebody a much needed bath.
Blast music out of your car's speakers.
When you blare rap music excessively loud, you're saving everybody from doing boring things such as studying or sleeping. Also, everybody enjoys rap music and nobody finds it to be obnoxious.
Teachers and students alike love it when people show up late to class. Teachers sometimes lose track of what their talking about and appreciate the opportunity to collect their thoughts. Students love being distracted from a lecture that they're paying a ton of money for and also appreciate people wrestling past them for a seat while they're trying to take notes.
Walk really slowly on the sidewalks.
Everybody enjoys being held up while walking to class by two people walking very slowly side by side. It's a nice way of letting people know that they should take a moment to slow down and enjoy life. Also, people who listen to music on the way to class will enjoy the opportunity to hear more songs than they normally would.
If you have a bike, ignore the designated bike paths.
There's nothing quite like somebody on a bike getting inches away from running you down, but at the last moment deciding to turn away. Everybody enjoys that feeling of relief when they realize that the guy on the bike isn't actually going to hit them. That feeling makes life worth living sometimes.
Pack your stuff up five minutes before class ends.
Sometimes, it's just too easy to hear the professor speak. People who are actually trying to pay attention to the professor will enjoy the added challenge of listening to him over the sound of your backpack zipper. Also, it's not disrespectful of the professor's or other students' time at all. Everybody will applaud you.
Gun it when you're in a car and approaching a crosswalk.
Jeopardizing the lives of everybody using a crosswalk is totally worth it so you don't have to wait ten seconds for them to finish walking. Just put the pedal to the metal and if they don't stop walking, it's their fault if they get hit. Sometimes, the near death experience will get people to realize that they should turn their life around. The benefits outweigh the risks.
Smoke right outside of the entrances of buildings.
People love it when their choice of living a healthy life and abstaining from cigarettes is nullified by people who can't walk a few yards to a designated smoking area. They also enjoy the sight of people smoking, because those that smoke are extremely cool. If everybody smoked at a designated smoking area, I wouldn't be able to see these types of people and there would be virtually no chance of me getting emphysema. What a shame.
Write stuff on the bathroom stalls.
Graffiti on bathroom stalls is paramount to the public restroom experience. Without anything to read, using the bathroom would be extremely boring. Also, I wouldn't have a steady source of news that's relevant to me; such as "Joe has sex with goats." If nobody had written that, I wouldn't know that I should keep my goats away from Joe.
Take the elevator to the second floor.
Sometimes people who take the elevator to the seventh floor get lonely and we want somebody to talk to, even if for just a short time. Sometimes, people are too intimidated to take the elevator for such a short distance because they feel like they're being scowled at by everybody else. They couldn't be more mistaken. You're not being scowled at. People are just angry that you have to leave the elevator so soon.
If you're in a car, drive as close to the sidewalk as possible when there's standing water.
Let's face it. Not everybody in college has the best hygiene. When you spray water all over everybody on the sidewalk, you may be giving somebody a much needed bath.
Blast music out of your car's speakers.
When you blare rap music excessively loud, you're saving everybody from doing boring things such as studying or sleeping. Also, everybody enjoys rap music and nobody finds it to be obnoxious.
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